On the other hand, noticing the raw currents of my thoughts and feelings has its ups and downs.

Sir Terry Pratchett writes of a fantasy blend of coffee that makes one “knurd”. This messes with your reality just as much as alcohol does, but in the opposite direction: Your clarity, memory, and understanding of the world sharpens to uncomfortable and then unbearable levels. In a strike of pure genius, one of his characters, a recovering alcoholic, is described as being naturally knurd to a small degree. He kept intuitively trying to find balance, and missing horribly. But I digress.

I’m feeling a little knurd today. It’s normal and I’ll adapt, but still a little uncomfortable.

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• Self-hypnosis (in multiple styles)
• “transcendental” meditation
• Trance work
• Shamanism
• Various disciplines commonly referred to as “magick”
• Neuro-linguistic programming
• binaural tone technology
• breathwork
• Reiki
• EFT

…and many more.

Each has been a step in the direction of understanding myself, the world, and the interactions between them.

Presently, I am studying the Higher Balance curriculum, and I am developing more than I imagined. Before I proceed to some of my more current experiences, let me share a realization I had a couple of months ago:

A while back, I was inspired to make use of the Quantum Light Breath as a meditation practice. As I worked with it and allowed myself to open up more, I suddenly heard what (at first) I thought to be tinnitus. Initially, I panicked, as I’d never heard of this kind of reaction before.

Being the geek I am, I did some quick research via the web. There wasn’t a lot of documentation, some medical reports of tinnitus linked to breathwork. The reasoning given was that massive hyperventilation triggered a case of tinnitus. The problem was, I wasn’t hyperventilating. Granted, I was breathing deep and very consciously, but nothing like what was being described. It continued to happen when I was practicing the Quantum Light Breath, until I tapered down in pursuit of other techniques.

Fast forward a little under a year, and I find out. I’m not going to try to explain it here, as there’s a whole class on it taught by a better teacher than I. What I will share are some of my experiences with these tones.

The tones of sound are not a simple mechanical flaw in the ears, as they respond to mental action. It is an acquired skill, but I have learned to isolate a single tone (normally, there are countless tones overlapping), and then “play with it”. I can move the tone around so it seems to be coming from any direction, and so on. Presently I’m learning to isolate multiple tones and move them as well.

The thing that really surprised me was an episode from my childhood. My dad loved to listen to Simon and Garfunkel, and I heard “The Sound of Silence” more than a few times. I didn’t get the rest of the lyrics being so young (5-8 years old, we’re talking), but the concept of silence sounding like something intrigued me.

I started spending time just listening when there wasn’t any noise, trying to actively hear silence. At first, it seemed to be almost a roaring sound, but I kept listening. Eventually, the roaring gave way to the same tones I hear today. Of course, being a little kid, I didn’t know what to do with it. I got the impression that something was wrong, so I clumsily making pointless noise. Eventually, I distracted myself and didn’t hear it anymore. This episode lay forgotten until a few months ago.

I’ll be updating more as I figure out how to express my experiences without resorting to jargon.

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Having decided to take better care of myself and my health recently, I have had time to re-evaluate my thoughts and decisions. I’ve asked myself if I wish that things had been done differently. As always I had no desire to turn back the clock and change things, but I wanted to really dig into why. Here is what I came to:

“Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.”
-Robert Heinlein

Even though I wound up paying for it, and even though I may not have gotten the end result I was looking for, I had priceless learning and experience. This wasn’t some pre-packaged, sanitized, game-with-cheat-codes-on, this was me stepping up to the plate and taking a big swing.

This is something which I hadn’t really done in a while. It’s the tendency of all of us to stay within areas that are more-or-less safe. Even the risks we take are usually planned out and carefully managed. That’s not to say that we should be jumping off bridges every day, but my point is that few of us actually take a serious step beyond those boundaries that we build. We’re safe there, we know what to expect, and how the story goes.

I have been given a rare and precious gift: I’ve actually over the course of the last little while moved outside my old boundaries somewhat. Of course, I’m not “free” of them – they’re as necessary a tool as your skin. However, being able to move beyond those boundaries is vital if you actually want to breathe with life instead of being a cog in the machine. I’m not just talking about work, here, either: You can let gravity bring you down until all you think about is the area of ground ahead of your feet that you’re looking at. You can stay that way all of your days. Alternately, you can take a chance and look up. You might stumble, or you might see a beautiful sky, or a work of art that captures your attention, or a case of need that you can fill.

Take a chance on yourself and take a chance with the world. At the very least, you’ll be able to say you’ve done it. If it’s still not for you, then you can go back to staring at the ground, but you’ll still be the richer for the experience.

If you’d like to hear more about waking up and truly experiencing life, please subscribe to the RSS feed.

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I have been pursuing many different things recently. One thing has been my meditation practice. I’ve been looking to get certain results from my meditation beyond relaxation and such. I fancy myself something of an explorer, and I wanted to use my meditative practice as part of that.

I have been following a specific path for so long, that it took an outside view to really make me aware that I was completely missing what I was looking for. I had been so focused, so intent, on the process, that I was unable to accept the result. I had quieted my mind to hear, but still I wasn’t listening.

The equivalent is if you are standing in the woods and you’re listening for a specific bird. You may be focusing on standing still. You may be trying to make your breath as quiet as possible, You may be trying to be as unobtrusive as possible so as not to scare the wildlife around you. However, if you are consumed with these thoughts, you will never actually listen to hear the birdsong.

Quite often, in our mad rush to accomplish, to get and to have, we don’t recognize that most of what we want, we pretty much already have. In the Sedona method, you learn to let go of the sense of lack. In the process you find that you have more of what you thought you were lacking than you ever imagined. Take the time to remember what you truly have and who you are. You are a uniquely gifted individual. Don’t throw those gifts aside because they don’t appear the way you expect.

If you would like to read more about how to recognize what you’re looking for, please subscribe to the RSS feed.

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I’d like to start off today with a quote I just recently discovered:

“Meditation is to religion what the laboratory is to science.”
–Paramahansa Yogananda

Myself, I would have phrased it differently, substituting the word “spirituality” for “religion” as I associate religion with dogmas and strict thought restrictions, but the principle holds just the same.

The more I meditate and the more regularly I do so, the more mental space it gives me to observe what’s going on in my life, both internally and externally. I ran a 30-day challenge back in November to meditate daily, and in January I fell off the wagon here and there. I never gave up, but I wasn’t as good about it as I wanted. In late January/early February I started meditating again. I being a man who likes to stack the deck in his favor given the proper environment, decided to try a new approach: a method whose strength was tied to it’s simplistic method. This helped, but regular meditation has helped even more, I think. I’ve been meditating twice a day (once a day in a busy/long day) ever since.

If you want to get in touch with your spirit, I cannot think of any technique, trick, or tip more effective and elegant then meditative practice. Like the quote above, it’s not something where you meditate for a while and then you’ve meditated all you need and can halt the practice. Instead view it as an ongoing process, like science. When a physicist makes a breakthrough, they don’t sit back and say “well, I’m good”. Instead, they’re interested in finding out what their breakthrough means to the Big Picture. Meditation is no different.

If you don’t know how to get started with your meditation practice, then just try a few out. There are a lot of good forms of meditation out there that can help you along. Ultimately it is about doing what works for you, and sticking to it so it gives you the results you’re seeking.

If you’d like to read more about how to make the most of your meditation, please subscribe to the RSS feed.

P.S. If you’re interested in the meditation technique I’m using, it’s called the Foundation by the Higher Balance Institute.

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As I was writing the post yesterday (and afterward) I was thinking of the interesting phenomena that seem to surround me. Is the fact that I keep running into self-development material a form of manifestation, or am I creating connections where there otherwise wouldn’t be? Or is this a “chicken and egg” scenario?

My only conclusion (like so often) is “some from column A and some from column B”. Ask any expert in any field what they see in a situation and they’ll tell you what they see in terms of their expertise. I’ve touched on this before when dealing with the mental filters.

On the other hand, when you really get clear and spend a lot of time and thought on a topic, it seems to “crawl out of the woodwork” at times and presents you with new outside variables and data that you hadn’t expected or (in some cases) even considered.

As you get clear on who you are and start gravitating towards your purpose (or decide what it’s going to be – same result in my opinion), you’ll find that what you are looking for will start to come to you. Not in the way you expect, and not in a way you can predict and control, but in ways that will keep you thinking and keep you guessing.

By the same token, doing so starts to build a momentum of its own. Now that I am starting to see development lessons around me no matter where I go I have to remember to stop and try out other mental filters and see how things fit. Looking at a situation from different mental angles is an important skill, and not one that should be overlooked. I recently made a grim but important decision to make a big change in my life soon. Don’t worry; the blog should be unaffected. The very next day after I made that decision, I was presented with reasons (rather compelling ones) to alter my stance. Immediately, I started checking out what was going on inside. Is this some kind of test or could it be viewed that way? What does this say about me, that I was willing to make this decision without anticipating these compelling reasons? Which one is more “me”? Which one offers the greatest opportunity for growth? The questions went on and on.

After I had worked in that mode for a while, I “switched hats” so-to-speak and tried a different mental filter. I came in with an approximation of a beginner’s mind (the naive mind), and I realized that I had been creating an either-or choice where one didn’t really exist. I can handle both directions at once because neither really interferes with the other.

I tried out a few more filters: The pragmatist, the “devil’s advocate”, the loyalist, the rebel, and so on. Each had something to contribute, but the one that offered the most was the naive mind. Getting my mind of the single-focus mode of making a yes-no decision in the name of development and growth, I realize that I can walk a middle path and probably wind up growing just as much if not more.

Coming back to one of my repeating themes: Technology is great, but its purpose is to serve you, not the other way around. Focusing on your objectives is good. Keeping your thoughts focused on the end result is good, but take the time to step back and re-evaluate the situation from time-to-time. You’ll find that adding in some balance fuels your focus even more.

If you would like to read more about how to find the optimal solution for you, please subscribe to the RSS feed.

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How often have you seen a maintenance program go unused? When I go to my grandmother’s house, I’m always having to update and run the anti-virus and antispyware software. I can tell by the timestamps that the last time this was done was….the last time I was there.

We deal with much the same thing when it comes to defragging our minds. We tend to collect all these tricks, tips, tools, and techniques . . . . and then not use them. This, ironically enough, is usually due to an aversion to the process or results of defragging. You’ll be thinking that you won’t like what you find, or “it’s a big hassle” or “I just don’t have the time” and so on. Like all such aversions, it’s lying to you. Time can be found, in any schedule. The Sedona Method can be used on-the fly. With a little practice, it can be used in real-time, so that’s not the real problem.

The real problem is that everyone I’ve ever met or read has come back to the same thing: They’re afraid of themselves in one way or another. A very powerful quote sums this up very well:

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some, it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

You may be faced with some unexpected difficulty in your defragging process. It may seem like too much work or too much hassle to continue. My question becomes this: Do you truly want to stop the process, or are you allowing yourself to be manipulated into stopping. I cannot tell you where it is wise to proceed and where it is wise to stop. Once again, trust your instincts. If you truly wish to keep going, but are feeling fear, a crippling and unexplainable boredom, or some other form of resistance, take heart that you may be on to something big. At the end of your efforts, you may find newfound strength, joy, or clarity which will serve you for years and decades to come. Be good to yourself – do the work.

If you would like to read more about how to find a way to forge ahead when the resistance is against you, please subscribe to the RSS feed.

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While I’ve presented many tools to get you where you want to go in your defragging process and beyond, I find that no tool is effective without knowing what exactly is going on. It’s all well and good to take time out of your day, and be grateful for all the things in your life, or to remember to let go of your attachments and your aversions when you feel them clawing at you, but unless you can get some data, you’re really just sitting in the captain’s chair of your life, pushing buttons at random.

Now, don’t get me wrong; pushing buttons at random can be fun and is almost always a learning experience. But, if you’re already dragging yourself around and know that you need to clear your mind, using the shotgun approach and hoping you hit the right button is a gamble I wouldn’t want to take.

Get the Data.

Here is where journaling comes in handy. It doesn’t have to be much. Joesgoals.com has a function where you can put in micro-notes about that day. Just rate on a scale of 0-10 or a scale of 0-100 or whatever method works for you. Don’t rely on what other people are doing or saying, as they aren’t in your position. Only you can really tell whether or not it’s working. Are you more productive? How is your stress level? How’s your blood pressure, migranes, or stomach?

If you can get some hard data, you can benchmark what does work and what doesn’t. You may well find that many of the techniques and tricks I write about don’t work for you. That’s great! You’re on the right track. Now that you have eliminated some techniques, you can try another type of technique or find something else entirely.

Once you’ve hit upon something that seems to be working, don’t forget to keep tracking the data. If you hit a plateau, ask yourself honsestly if this is as far as this technique will take you, or if this is just a normal plateau in growth. Trust your instincts. Depending on your inclination, you will want to either re-focus on your current practice, or pick up a new one.

The Other Benefit of Getting the Data.

One of the many bosses I’ve had over the years used to say “inspect what you expect”, meaning that he would follow-up on what he expected to have completed. He was not an unkind person, but he knew what he wanted done, and he expected the best from his people. They didn’t disappoint.

We are the same ourselves. If we make a habit of monitoring what we want, our automatic (behind the scenes) mental functions will kick in and start moving us in the direction that we want to go.

Remember to be as aware as possible of your situation from beginning to end. You’re wasting your time and possibly doing yourself a greater disservice if you don’t pay attention to whether or not you are actually going where you want to go.

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When is the last time you were all fired up for a project, but at the same time, just at the edge of your consciousness, you felt a gentle push back? How about the time when you had to exert massive effort and energy to do something as simple and effortless as pick up and dial a phone? Emotional aversions can come in many different packages, from the big to the little and the obvious to the almost-undetectable.

Why we have these aversions.

This one is pretty much a no-brainer: Underneath all the complexity and sophistication of human thought, there is still the fight-or-flight response. It isn’t always in full force, but let’s go back to the time you had to pick up the phone, or knock on that door. When you look at it, you’re operating from some kind of fear. That fear puts you in a mode where you are inching forward, but unable to bring your real power to bear, because most of it is used fighting yourself.

It doesn’t take much to acquire a emotional aversions. One or two negative experiences and a “rule” has been added specifying that that thing, whatever it is, is bad news. As we avoid the matter, the aversion itself is reinforced and becomes more powerful. Eventually, when we are forced to face the aversion, we’re like a little kid in the darkness: Our imagination, one of our most powerful gifts, turns against us and readies a fight. Now we have to bring to bear our discipline, our courage, and our drive to create a better world. It’s a shame that such triumphs are so hard to portray, because the battle is always fierce, and no victory outside can compare to the one inside.

They’re Lying to Us.

Unsurprisingly, when you pick up the phone or knock on that door (or approach that attractive person across the room), you usually find that the reality in-the-moment is nowhere near the nightmare scenario you were presented with during the fight. You breathe a sigh of relief, and go on your way. The emotional aversion is weakened, but not gone.

As stated in the above scenario and mentioned on Tuesday, it is the buildup and battle in your mind that brins you suffering, and saps your will. Not the event itself. Learning to distinguish between the two is an important first step. When you realize that the two of them are separate matters, you are then free to work on getting rid of the aversion.

Awareness and observation are key.

I’ll get into more advanced techniques and systems later. But, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Being aware and mindful of what’s going on inside will yield a huge boost if you’re just getting started. Emotional aversions are fairly easy to identify, if you pay close attention. If you are hungry for more, stay tuned, because I’ll have some great tools coming up.

If you would like to learn more about how to execute and operate regardless of the emotional charge, please subscribe to the RSS feed.

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In today’s podcast, I go back to the concept of the dialog box in computers. From there, I branch out to some topics from Wednesday.

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If you would like to read or hear more, please subscribe to the podcast or the full RSS feed

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