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So, I didn’t update. Not only that, but I didn’t meditate. Oh, and my sleep still wasn’t/isn’t up to standard. I’d re-routed power, but it still isn’t enough.
You might be wondering, why doesn’t he just focus on one: meditation or the sleep schedule? Well, the problem is that they rely on one another. The sleep schedule makes the meditation possible and vice-versa. On top of all of this, I have a volunteer project that I’m abominably overdue on. That’s an energy sap, but I refuse to cave on that one.
A thought comes to mind of one of the greatest real-life examples of the “re-route power” analogy: The Apollo 13 mission. If you haven’t seen the movie Apollo 13, you really should. It’s a masterpiece and pretty accurate, as well.
Having cut power to everything, they barely survived until it was time to start-up everything for the last part of their journey. But there was a problem: If they started up everything, then they wouldn’t have enough juice. No matter how they arranged it, no matter what permutations they used, it just wasn’t enough.
I found myself in the same situation. I needed enough willpower to get my meditation and sleep schedules started, but I’m starting from a point of exhaustion. Today, after artfully letting an emotional gut-punch at work roll off me, I decided that I was going to deliberately relax. My focus is getting back on balance. For the rest, I’m going to be gentle with myself. Yes, I’m going to continue to eat healthy. Yes, I’m still going to a job wherein people scream demands for the impossible. And yet, having made the determination to be good to myself, I find the situation already changed. I’m meditating tonight, and I’ve cooked up a couple of ways to make sure that I’m up when I need to be. The rest will take care of itself.
