Optimizing will only take you so far. Can you trust enough to go further?
I’ve been scavenging for bits and pieces of knowledge and skill for a long time. And it’s served me well. But the large-ish problem with that is that you can only stretch an existing setup so far before you have to start up something new.
Take stories for example: Sequels are notorious for being of inferior quality to the original, and long series tend to lose their focus and wind up with fans wishing for the early days.
Before the blog went on hiatus, I was starting to work with a meditation system that was simple enough to be useable, yet very far-reaching in its effects. The system has a core, or “foundation”, and you can study different branches of the knowledge from there.
Not long ago I was studying the topic of Surrender. Here I have to make explanations as I try to suppress my frustration with that word. Surrender in terms of meditation and inner development is vastly different from the normal meaning of the word.
Surrender in the day-to-day world means giving up, being defeated, throwing in the towel. This is not what I am talking about. This is an altogether different experience, and the only reason that “surrender” is used, is because it is the only word which comes close.
Surrender in the realm of personal, spiritual and psychic development is more akin to learning to move past the comfortable, yet restricting, thoughts and energies that we bind ourselves with. But surrendering them we become free.
Learning Surrender.
As I mentioned in my post regarding the Sedona Method, learning to let go can open doors you didn’t even know were there. My work on releasing was helpful to me, but Surrender goes beyond letting go of hurts and expectations. Surrender, in this context, is learning to trust. Learning to open yourself up to experiencing what the Universe wants to show you. All of the little things we hang onto are in fact holding us down, turning us into machines.
By learning to open yourself, you find that you don’t have as much need to fear (or any at all, really, but it’s difficult to maintain this state of being). You can be true to yourself, and act from the best place in you.
My Experience With Surrender Techniques.
Being primed with my Sedona experience and knowledge, I pretty much figured I had the “letting go” thing down. I have a coach I work with and he advised me to try working a little differently.
I started setting aside some time dedicated to the process of just letting go. I started making more progress, and I felt more flowing and adaptable, so I kept going. No big breakthroughs.
Then, one evening I was working with Surrender just before my normal evening meditation session. As patterns, events, and people came up, I released them. I wanted to see how far I could go. Eventually, I came to the image of a singular point, represented by a blue sphere, like a glowing rubber ball. This ball was resting on a concrete platform, and was (interestingly enough) wearing what looked like Renaissance metal armor, complete with a plumed helmet.
The blue point/sphere was obviously myself. What chilled me was that as I looked closer at the armor, I realized that it wasn’t what it appeared to be. What at first appeared to be protection, instead was slowly revealed to be tie-downs, chains of imprisonment.
Using the techniques I’d been taught, I started releasing the various pieces of armor, and all that went with them. It took time, but I was down to the concrete platform. I knew that it, too, had to go. Yet, I was still afraid. If I give up this solidity, how will I keep my bearings? How will my mind work without this solid structure in place?
It was at this moment, that a half-remembered quote from years out of the past floated across my mind. Here is the original:
One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
-Andre Gide
Realizing that I would not progress unless I was able to stand on my own without this construct, I was finally able to step off the platform and let it go. The peace, excitement, and love that I experienced then can be hinted at with words, but must be experinced to really be understood.
Finding the Courage.
Of course it’s scary; As one of my favorite teachers is fond of saying, “If it were easy, everybody would do it”. But, it is worth it. If you feel like you are in a place where you can learn to let go and truly be yourself without the baggage and garbage, then I urge you to seize the opportunity. May you find the courage to take the leap.
