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When is the last time you were all fired up for a project, but at the same time, just at the edge of your consciousness, you felt a gentle push back? How about the time when you had to exert massive effort and energy to do something as simple and effortless as pick up and dial a phone? Emotional aversions can come in many different packages, from the big to the little and the obvious to the almost-undetectable.
Why we have these aversions.
This one is pretty much a no-brainer: Underneath all the complexity and sophistication of human thought, there is still the fight-or-flight response. It isn’t always in full force, but let’s go back to the time you had to pick up the phone, or knock on that door. When you look at it, you’re operating from some kind of fear. That fear puts you in a mode where you are inching forward, but unable to bring your real power to bear, because most of it is used fighting yourself.
It doesn’t take much to acquire a emotional aversions. One or two negative experiences and a “rule” has been added specifying that that thing, whatever it is, is bad news. As we avoid the matter, the aversion itself is reinforced and becomes more powerful. Eventually, when we are forced to face the aversion, we’re like a little kid in the darkness: Our imagination, one of our most powerful gifts, turns against us and readies a fight. Now we have to bring to bear our discipline, our courage, and our drive to create a better world. It’s a shame that such triumphs are so hard to portray, because the battle is always fierce, and no victory outside can compare to the one inside.
They’re Lying to Us.
Unsurprisingly, when you pick up the phone or knock on that door (or approach that attractive person across the room), you usually find that the reality in-the-moment is nowhere near the nightmare scenario you were presented with during the fight. You breathe a sigh of relief, and go on your way. The emotional aversion is weakened, but not gone.
As stated in the above scenario and mentioned on Tuesday, it is the buildup and battle in your mind that brins you suffering, and saps your will. Not the event itself. Learning to distinguish between the two is an important first step. When you realize that the two of them are separate matters, you are then free to work on getting rid of the aversion.
Awareness and observation are key.
I’ll get into more advanced techniques and systems later. But, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Being aware and mindful of what’s going on inside will yield a huge boost if you’re just getting started. Emotional aversions are fairly easy to identify, if you pay close attention. If you are hungry for more, stay tuned, because I’ll have some great tools coming up.
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