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The comment graciously left by Evan inspired me to share a moment where I ran full-force into some of my own values. I found that while a way of doing things may work for some people, it certainly didn’t work for me. Grab some popcorn and watch another one of those delightfully named “learning experiences” 
A business opportunity.
I was a young man, about 19 or so when a relative called me up and expressed her excitement over a business venture. The exact details of the business aren’t really important, but the fact that I stood to make a decently large amount of money working with her and her partner seemed like an attractive idea. The business plan seemed solid, and it seemed to be filling a genuine need for people.
I decided to take the chance and go for it. I felt some butterflies in my stomach and what I now recognize to be various signs of resistance, but at the time I was only dimly aware of their meaning. Everything seemed to be good.
At first, it was exciting. I was learning more and more about how the business worked, and seeing different ways of doing things. The problem that I kept having was that the direction of the business wasn’t in the direction of helping people, as I had thought. Most of it was not about providing value, but simply to get potential customers to “sign on the dotted line” and then move on to the next one.
As I was coming to this understanding, I was facing increasing levels of resistance. I felt like I was in a whirlwind that I couldn’t comprehend. I decided to go quiet and listen to the meaning behind the words of my relative and her partner. The more I listened, the more sick-to-my-stomach I felt.
An opportunity for growth.
As I realized that the people I were with were not about helping people, but only trying to harvest money, I found that I had a choice to make. I could deliberately re-shape my thinking and accept their ways of doing things. I knew I could do this, as I had done it before, just not to that extreme. However, a change that drastic would not necessarily succeed. Even if such a shift were successful or not, there would be unpleasant ripples from that down the line.
On the other hand, I could make a stand for who I believed myself to be and pull out while I had the chance. It wouldn’t be pretty, or glamorous or triumphant, but I would be true to myself. Then again, could this just be the resistance talking? Remember that I was dimly aware of my self-sabotaging tendencies at the time, and I thought that perhaps I was just tricking myself out of a valid opportunity.
The decision point.
I knew that I simply had to do something. I set aside some time, and got in touch with myself and my guides. (For reference, these events happened not terribly long after my life fell apart.) I started noticing that I didn’t like the way I felt in connection with that business. This was further clarified with a one-line lightning bolt of advice from my new friend (and later Reiki teacher) Nanette. I decided to try bringing myself up to a more energetic and balanced inner state and then see how things settled.
Often I find that the big decisions are not really about what you decide, but how. This makes me think back to the best math and programming teachers I ever had. They weren’t interested in the final answer. They were more interested in how you got there. As I worked from the inside out and really clarified what I wanted I gradually became aware that I could drop that business in a heartbeat.
The supposed opportunity may be there, but not for who I am. I realized that if I want to produce an abundant life and help people, then I can do that. I’m not limited to one avenue. I can make it happen with them or without them. That being the case, I would rather remain who I am and move forward.
The result.
I must say that it’s working surprisingly well. This relatively minor turning point in my life has led to many benefits, tangible and not. The greatest is that I know that I can’t be so easily bought. I had the chance to cash in my values and principles, and I didn’t. Does that mean my challenges are at an end? Can I now let myself freeze into a comfortable but unchanging mental state? Goodness no! I know that I have to keep moving and learning. But I also know that I am made of stronger stuff than I knew before.
A blooper? Yes. A big one, as a matter of fact. But, like all the scars on my body (not that many, thank goodness ) I can say that it served an important lesson that I cherish to this day. Don’t disrespect knives, don’t wiggle too much when riding a motorcycle, don’t sacrifice who you are. Bill Shakespeare said it better than I, so I’ll let him do it for me:
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
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