Armannd, it’s sometimes hard to peg courageous times. Often when complimented for courage people respond by saying, “I just did what I had to do, what any rational human would do, what was expected of me, etc”. We fail to give ourselves props for what we have accomplished. I was struggling with this myself and shared it with my friend Jenny. She doubled over laughing when I said I hadn’t done anything courageous in awhile and then proceeded to list all I had done. I wasn’t doing a good job giving myself much credit at all. If you can’t think of anything courageous I’d recommend sitting down with a good friend and I’m sure they could give you a little more realistic feedback. It is shocking how little credit we give ourselves sometimes.

I know exactly what you mean, Armannd. I had a bit of trouble trying to figure it out as well. I know you’ll find it and I’m looking forward to reading about it!

Erin, Pamir, Lorraine, you were all correct in that the relative is better off now (not that you could get the person to actually admit it).

Usually I don’t think too much before doing something; if it feels right, I’m doing it. My “labeling system” is inactive most of the time so it’s harder to recall things by a label that isn’t there in the first place.

Your tale of bravery required some courage, bravo!

I so agree with Erin’s and Pamir’s comments. So often people look the other way because they don’t want to create a conflict. I beleive in holding people accountable for who they are and what they do whether they accept the responsibility or not.

In my own life I have had to distance myself twice from my sister because of how toxic she is in my life.
When you have the courage to stand up to folks with love and firmness, you give them a great gift – an opportunity to heal and grow if they so choose. If this relative uses this experience to change, you have been of great service to everyone by having the courage to say no.

Give yourself a hug!:D

Lorraine

John, while it may not look like classic heroism, setting boundaries without feeling like a shmuck is indeed courageous, especially in your case where the pattern has had such a long life.

One of the things that probably happened is that your relative benefited more than is apparent, since he or she is no longer enabled to be a ‘victim.’

Standing up always involves bravery.

Again, thank you fo being willing to be vulnerable and courageous in posting this article too.

Blessings,
Lorraine

Tales of courage and bravery are good, because they are examples that it can be done. Sometimes that is all we need to get that extra spiritual push to go the distance.

I know I’ve been inspired by what I read.

Sorry I forgot to link back to the original. I’m editing to include that now.

When I started this meme: http://www.powerfull-living.biz/blog/2007/09/18/what-gives-you-courage/#comments and tagged folks to play I hoped it would generate throughtful posts that would also inspire others. Yours certainly does that.

It takes courage to show up and be true to who you are and what you stand for especially when it might rock the boat for others. Bravo to you for being a model of courage!

Warmly,
Lorraine