Continuing on from last time, there are many different things that can act as a “poison” for you, and each of us is unique. The only way to find out what your poisons may be is to simply run an audit.
Sniff out the poison
Never lose sight of the basics. The only way to see what is poisoning you is to see what is coming in and what is going out. Here’s my method:
- Set a block of time. I suggest a week or two at minimum. You may wish to go as long as a month, but more than that won’t be of any real benefit. We need a large sample of data in order to find what we need.
- Monitor what affects you, and how. Pay attention to what makes you feel alive and what deadens that feeling. This can be on any level. This can be a physical object, a behavior, a person, anything.
- Be sure to record it. Trying to store it in your head defeats the purpose: If you could do that this wouldn’t be necessary
If you journal already, you’re all set. - Put it together. Once you have completed your time frame, congratulate yourself on a job well done and look at the data. It may be obvious what is poison for you or it may be cyptic. In my experience, I couldn’t resist analyzing the data as it came in, so I just looked at the end data just to see how it added up.
A simple procedure for a basic problem. Each of us is capable of being so much more than we are at the moment. That does not make us any less fantastic beings, but when I look at where I am and I glimpse where I can be, I feel an irresistible compulsion to go further. By learning what acts as poison you can operate much more effectively
Poison, not malevolence.
When you find what is a poison for you, I would urge you not to fall into anger or simpleminded intolerance. Granted, you will want to minimize or remove the poison’s effects on your life. However, you must remember that doing so does not give you license to harm others.
Say for example you have a relative or friend who is a constant drain on you and saps your true will. You may have feelings for them, but they are acting as a poison in this case. When you realize this, the simplest solution is to sever ties with the person immediately and eradicate them from your life. This is akin to taking careful aim and shooting yourself in the foot.
Remember that when you find your poison(s), the effects can be mitigated. In the example above, if you have a relative whose behavior or manner is poisonous to you, then I suggest the following:
- Minimize your interaction with that person.
- Recognize that while their presence is poisonous, that such is not their intention. Unforgiveness is a potent poison itself.
- Be aware of the effect on you. Later on, take time to yourself to do what you do in order to feel more “yourself”, more alive.
- You might get creative and see if you can transform the poison into something beneficial (or at the very least, non-toxic). Either way a good learning experience, and if you can manage to pull it off you’ll be way ahead of the game
It’s about you, not the poison.
Remember that the whole point of this is to make your life more effective. It’s not about finding new poisons to feel bad about. Self-loathing and self-pity are traps, and if you decide to give over to them, then I cannot help you. If, instead, you are ready to shake off some unnecessary burdens, try hunting down your poison. Watch what happens when it starts leaving your system.
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(Thanks to hberends for the image.)
