When you are trying to live a better, more effective life sooner or later you are going to encounter the topic of congruence. It’s a simple concept: Everything matches. Not so simple is applying this to your life. Everyone has thoughts and actions that pull us in different directions. This is a normal by-product of life. The problem is, if you let it get away from you, it can ruin your effectiveness and thereby undo everything you are trying to accomplish.
Taking a closer look at how congruence works
Imagine you have a group of people carrying a large object. They’re all moving in the same direction, so they’re making decent progress. Now, two of them think that they don’t want to walk in the same direction because it’s dusty and they don’t want to get dirty. So they start pulling in a different direction. The people in the front, who can see the path and the destination, start loudly saying that they know which way to go. The people in the back are tired and pull back, saying that they should stop until the matter is resolved. It’s much the same within each of us. Each of us knows what will lead us to a happier and more fulfilled life, but we lack congruence. We’re pulling in too many directions at once.
Why it’s important
What’s really critical is that in the example I gave above is that the large object in the picture is your life. You are both the puller and the pulled. Unless you learn congruence you will never be as effective as you could be. If you think back, you’ll probably remember a time when you had something to do and you hemed and hawed around it, trying to force yourself to do it but getting little results. Now think back to a time with a similar situation, but all your focus and energy was bent on the problem. I guarantee the second time was easier. Now, imagine the power of that laser-focus being brought to bear on your life in general. When you are pulling all in one direction, there’s no telling how effective you can be.
Steps in the right direction
Here’s a brief list if little things you can do to get yourself moving in the right direction for you:
- Find a mentor or hero who demonstrates what you’re going for and learn from them.
- Keep notes of where your mind goes over the course of a day. When you find a thought or pattern that pulls you in the direction that isn’t right for you, take note, and gently nudge your thoughts back to where they should be.
- In reference to the last one, you can keep a tally of how often this happens per day, and track your “score” to see how low you can get it. No cheating now! You’d be cheating only yourself. Literally
- Keep a journal. No need to be fancy, but write a page or two about your day, or even your thoughts. The physical events of the day pale in importance to the events in your inner world. As you start picking up on patterns and tendencies, you can boost them or change them as needed.
- Open a dialog or join a discussion group with people who either already are examples of what you are going for or are themselves on the same journey. There is surprising strength in people helping each other reach their goals.
Do you have any more methods for increasing the congruence in your life? If so, please let us know in the comments!
If you liked this post, then check out the RSS feed.
