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Internal Resistance: The Confirmation Dialog Boxes of Life
Last time, I used the analogy of a brick wall to describe internal resistance. I described starting with removing a single brick and then moving on from there. And how by removing that one brick, you can open up the potential for still greater achievements. Today, I’ll be exploring resistance more in-depth, and from a different perspective.
Anyone who uses a computer is familiar with the dialog box. “Are you sure you want to save?” “Do you want to shut down?” “Send this file to the Recycle Bin?” . . . These are designed to prevent someone from doing something important (and possibly dangerous) without having thought the matter through first. Inner resistance works much the same way. Before you can manifest the life that you want, you’ll have to make it through some internal resistance to demonstrate that this is what you really want to do.
The Dreaded Dialog Box
Think back to the first time you saw that dialog box. I bet it startled you. Maybe even gave you a feeling of minor panic. You are being given a choice. Do you proceed? The default says “no”. If you choose “no” then you are safe because you haven’t changed anything. Of course, eventually you do have to click “yes”, if only to save your file. These dialog boxes (and their command line predecessors) serve a vital role in operating your computer. Without them, even the most skilled person will occasionally make an error. Even a costly one. For the beginners, the dialog boxes keep them out of anything too advanced. Beginners can use a computer, after a fashion, but only tap a small percentage of what that computer can do. As the beginner gains experience, the dialog boxes become less about boundaries and more about guidance. Trusting that a dialog box will prevent them from doing anything too dangerous, they will timidly explore their computer and look into important system files, always choosing “no” when they are presented with an opportunity to change something. As the user becomes more advanced, they will learn when they want to make a change and when they do not. Yes, I do want to install this program, no I do not want to reformat my hard drive. Eventually, with enough practice, the user becomes and expert. To the expert, they know exactly the changes they are looking to make. They see the dialog boxes, but they barely register in their mind, and are quickly forgotten as they take the computer to levels undreamt of by the novice.
The same is true with resistance. Inner resistance can be thought of as a protective mechanism. By keeping you from pushing the boundaries of your world, your resistance lets you feel safe, at a cost. If you are reading this, then you are already moving beyond the “novice” stage outlined above, if you haven’t already. As you grow in awareness, your internal resistance and how you perceive it will change. At first, it really will seem like that brick wall. It will keep beating you down every time you try to bring something good and new into your life. But as you keep working on it, and as you start removing one brick after another, as your “system requirements” get better and better, the internal resistance will become less and less important. Eventually, you become an expert at life. Your internal resistance will be like dialog boxes to a computer expert. Occasionally containing useful information, but almost always a momentary step, after which you get on with business.
“Do you want to change your life? [Yes] or [No]
So now we realize that inner resistance can be considered a dialog box, what do you do? You recognize that it is a well-intentioned defense mechanism and honor it’s intended role. While doing so, remember that for your purposes, this protection is misguided. You are in control of your life, and are not to be scared off if you decide otherwise. You may be familiar with Carl Jung’s concept of the Shadow. That is a more complex topic than I can address in this post, but it is related. As you push back the boundaries, as you interact with your own Shadow, you will be able to exert more control. But what better way to vanquish an enemy than to make them an ally?
Choosing [Yes]
When creating what you want in your life, it is necessary to become the person that you need to be in order to make the change. I forget who wrote it, but “become the change you desire” rings very true. Think about what you most want to happen in your life right now. Now, think about the person who you think would have that situation. As you change yourself to become more like that person, you will automatically start doing the right things to accomplish your intended result. I will be touching on this in future postings, so let’s get back to the nuts-and-bolts of this exercise. Think about this person. Would they have the resistance you do? Why or why not? If they don’t have it, why do you? If they do have it, what do they do about it? How do they get past it? What will happen if you move past that resistance? Will the world end? What is the worst that can happen? What is the best that can happen?
When you decide to move past that internal resistance, oftentimes it will manifest itself physically. Generally it will be a distraction or obstacle that discourages you from proceeding. Remember what you are doing and why you are doing it. It is extremely critical that you don’t back down. Keep on going. You may feel like you’re walking through fire, but when you reach the other side, you will be the unequivocated master of your own destiny. If you cave now, if you give up when you are on the very threshold of breaking through, your resistance will say “See! I told you it was scary out there. You need me to keep all that badness away.” And its grip tightens all the more. Note that what I said just now assumes that you actually have thought the matter through. Anything that is inherently self-destructive is not a good choice for an example of where you should move past internal resistance.
Eventually, when you have moved past the resistance, take note of what it took to make it happen. How did you do it? Why did you do it? What methods and motivations did you use? How did you adapt to handle a bigger world? This is important because the struggle to keep going never really ends. Each time will be different, but each will have a priceless lesson. If you remember your lessons and apply them, the road will get easier. Eventually the fight you may currently face with your resistance will become akin to more of a dance, and as you keep moving, your world will become brighter.
